10 magic words – take a fresh look at relationships
Since time immemorial, we, people, feel that words mean more than simply sounds, syllables, and letters following one another. Before words were considered to be something magical, sacred sounds, closely associated with things they denote. However, today, we constantly feel that words have power over us.
They not only refer to objects, names, feelings, activities and events, but also compel us feeling physical and mental impact of these phenomena on ourselves. Word often has the same effect as drugs, only much more rapid and stronger.
In fact, not a word is a real wizard, but brain – an institution in which all words of our language are “stamped”. In doing so, it not only remembers meaning or correct spelling of certain words, but also securely encrypts all bodily and spiritual experience we got with the word. Thus, a word delivered aloud or silently, again and again raises feelings of past with same force of emotions and bodily reactions.
Below you will find phrases with “magic” properties to strengthen and improve relationship (if they are sincere, of course).
1. “Let’s try to understand each other, find a common solution,” “I really want to reconcile and be with you.”
2. Excuses for pain, violence, abuse: “Sorry, I was wrong to accuse you in vain!”, “Excuse me for hurt I brought you.”
3. Words-recognition of mistakes. “Yes, I was really wrong,” “You were rights, I never really wrote this letter (although I said I sent it.”
4. Words-recognition that quarrel or conflict with your partner seriously affects your emotional well-being. “I really suffer because of the fact we quarreled.”
5. Phrases that express a desire to understand partner’s pain and suffering. “I really want to understand you. “It’s really very important for me to understand how I hurt you”.
6. Phrases that express a desire to learn partner’s interests, feelings and thoughts. “I wonder what music you like,” What do you like for breakfast? “,” What do you feel when …?”, “Your opinion is important for me.” It is important that, if partner’s emotions and thoughts are not very pleasant for you, you will still recognize his (her) right to this kind of experience and not lose interest and respect for a partner. For example, if a partner is sad on loss of his parents, it is better to say: “I find it difficult when you do not communicate with me, but I understand you’ve got great sorrow.”
7. Phrases, emphasizing importance of your partner in joint events, celebrations, sorrows. “I just want you to go see this movie (go to this exhibition, arrange a party in honor of diploma),” “I want you to go to your friends (etc.), so I wait, when you return from a trip “” I need to complain you about my mother. ”
8. Words that reveal your attitude, “positive” feelings to a partner, his value in your eyes. “You are dear to me and “I love you!”, “I really need you”, “I appreciate your candor (love, trust, tenderness, etc.) very much.” It is especially important to stress importance of long-term relationship with your partner (if you really want to be with him for a long).
9. Words that express your “negative” feelings towards partner with clear explanation of what this state is connected with. “I’m angry when you call me a fool”, “I’m hurt, when you win and clap me on the shoulder graciously …”. These so-called in psychology “I – messages” about one’s difficult conditions are very useful for self-awareness of your bad feelings and conflict and helps a partner understanding what is happening to you.
10. Words of gratitude for good things your partner did or does now in relation to you. “Thank you for arranging this holiday for me!”, “Your calls from abroad are very important for me,” “I am very grateful to you for support! ”
So, magic words – a “psychological medicine chest”, necessary for everyday life. So why not use it?