What disturbs display of true love? This question excited and continues exciting minds of not one generation of mankind. Let’s recollect some councils, which give both psychologists, and philosophers, and just wise people. Probably, they will also help us finding an answer to disturbing question …
So …
1. Do not take wished for reality
It is not necessary to confuse flirt to love. All only begins with flirt, but it is not enough. In the beginning we feel romantic enthusiasm, see everything through rose-coloured glasses, all seems ideal, eternal, but you should not forget that love is similar to strong flash of fire: it is fragile, and can go out quickly. Flirt should turn to love. And for this purpose there is a check by time and difficulties.
2. Egoism
The greatest obstacle on a way to love. Sometimes we love a person, but forget that he has individuality, merits and demerits, different from our own, and fall in love with certain ideal image, allocated with qualities pleasant to us. When we realise discrepancy of a person and image created by us, we start altering him under “standards”, placing in frames and representations set by us. Therefore, ask yourself a question sometimes: “What we need in love: a loved person or our own desires, what we want to receive from him?” Any “cage” of our feelings which we try to tyre out our loved person in will sometime become too small for him. And he will either escape, or remain with us, but his soul will be inaccessible and closed from us. Sometimes we need to make a choice between our benefit and love and… to love for the sake of love.
3. Aspiration to be loved at any cost is dangerous.
Sometimes we fall to humiliation and lose own advantage “for the sake of love”, forget about our dreams, own way and meaning of life. And for the sake of what?
4. Search not for things that separate us, but for those that unite.
Nothing unites in love so strongly, as aspiration to share one dream, idea and adventures - and for the sake of them battle and overcome difficulties. And on the contrary, if nothing unites or uniting is insignificant, whether it is love?
5. To become a mirror of each other.
As always there should be someone, who will not allow us falling below own advantage, who will not deceive us and will always show the truth. And at the same time, the one who will show us the finest and secret conditions, such as our abilities and advantages, which we sometimes do not guess.
6. Self-proving prophecy.
If we love sincerely, we always find something light and kind in a person. In psychology there is a concept of self-proving of true prophecy. Its essence - if we think of close people better, than they actually are, they really become better gradually. If, on the contrary, we underestimate them, they will change to the worse. Therefore, a certain way to change a person to the better - not in noticing and telling him about his mistakes and lacks, but on the contrary treating him, as if he already possesses desired merits.
7. To overcome routine in love.
Love becomes stronger and supported sometimes through small and insignificant details. And often smallest things (which we unfairly forget) - flowers or a kiss, memoirs of precious moments, signs on attention and care - allow showing each other power of love.
8. To take the first step.
In disagreements and quarrels we should not show our “features”, which can result our loved one in furiousness. If second half is in bad mood, depression, grief, weariness, congestion work or problems, you should not get under this influence, on the contrary - undertake all possible and impossible measures on elimination of these conditions.
All this can bear fruits, if you understand one great true: two are necessary for love, mutual efforts of both sides.
