No one is born a dad or mom. Your responsibility is to make the time and commit the energy to learn the skills you will need to be a caring, compassionate, and competent dad. The learning never ends and kids are great teachers!
Probably the greatest parenting skill is the one that keeps you from screaming or throwing a baby across the room when he has been crying for a few hours straight. Begin your relationship with your son or daughter at birth. It is never too early to talk, tickle, caress, kiss, and play with your child – the sooner, the better.
The intense connection between your partner and infant — especially if they’re breastfeeding — can leave you wondering whether your baby really needs you. Rest assured he does. You’re an important person in his life, and being with you is comforting and soothing to him. You can help feed your baby if your partner expresses milk into a bottle or if you decide to supplement or replace breastfeeding with formula feeding. And you can help your baby indirectly by helping your partner around the house.
Despite how babies seem to rule the house from the moment you bring them home, they actually thrive on consistency in routines. If you feed them and give them naps at the same time every day, they will be more secure and cry less. As they grow older, more routine (brushing teeth, family meals, daily piano practice and so on) gives them structure. Too much choice is hard for littler kids. This puts a big responsibility on parents who need to be present to “nag” about all the things kids need to focus on. There is a big payoff. Older kids appreciate this effort.
Whether you call it a parenting skill or not, love and affection is the most important thing for your newborn baby. Many studies indicate that physical contact between parent and child is important for development. Dads, because they will engage in down on the floor “rough and tumble play,” play an especially important role in developing kids growing social skills. You’ll hear many people challenge this idea and suggest that babies need to be “toughened up” by letting them cry themselves to sleep or even go without a bottle to stay on a rigid schedule. This is plain wrong. While some animal babies are able to fend for themselves very quickly after they are born, the human baby is meant to be nurtured and protected for quite some time after birth. For example, human baby brains alone are only half the size they will be just one year after birth. Some say human babies complete gestation period should really be 21 months, combining nine months in the womb and another 12 months after birth. Babies need physical attention as much as possible during this time period, as well as for many years beyond. There is no such thing as loving a child “too much.”
If you spend time with your baby, you’ll become sensitive to his needs. To make certain that happens, send your partner out of the room sometimes or choose a childcare task that’s yours alone. Let her know you’re capable of handling things.
