Every family has critical moments in its life. Psychologists name different “critical” terms for a family. Someone says – two years, other one – three, and there are ones, who state crisis takes place once in four years.
Probably, you are still among those lucky people, who heard something about family troubles, but never faced them. There are no problems in your family, and the most terrible troubles that concern you are your friends’ problems. This means you married just recently, or feel instinctively the way to keep a family, or maybe your psychologists convinced you in this.
In fact, such approach of persuasion yourself there is no any problem – is one of methods to struggle with crisis. Good luck in this in further!
However, we know somewhere there is a woman that is crying loudly in a pillow, or grieving for somebody at a cup of coffee (a glass of brandy, TV or something else). And she has only one question in her head: “Why” Why does all this happens? Why everything was always good, and now it is bad?”
We can answer: it is crisis. And we can explain you the reason, but we will do it later, now following questions are important: “What can I do to correct this? Or at least to improve.”
There are many ways, but they all have one purpose – making a new woman of yourself. Buying a new dress – definitely a beautiful one. Visiting a beauty shop. Having your hair dyed. Changing perfume, hair set, man (ah! No, we still will keep this one). Sense of proportion is very important here.
You can and need go in for yoga, aerobics, and best of all – Arabian dancing, as they can put your thoughts in order quickly and raise your mood successfully.
Changing surrounding atmosphere is much easier, than changing yourself. For example, you can go to some resort with your husband. If you have been repairing your apartment during whole vacation selflessly, then you can invite your husband to the cinema or theatre in the evening. Even if you just have a dinner together somewhere, this will be already good. During weekend, try to take your husband for a walk in the park. This is difficult, but possible.
Joint rest can also be quite extreme, and in some sense it is even better, than a “civilized” one. Anyway, choose the background that will accentuate your advantages best of all, and hide your minuses.
If you suddenly feel your husband is suppressed by your advantages and is already sure he is unworthy of you, you should urgently show him some little minus and find a huge advantage in him, to praise him loudly.
Rest can also be separate. The main thing is that it should not be prolonged. You can forget the one you live with during a month’s absence. Optimal absence lasts a week and should not take place more often, than once in a month.
Relive a bit of the past, remember, some time husband song you something soulful and romantic, give him a guitar and ask singing. Remember your long conversations in past and renew your joint kickbacks.
You can read each other children fairy tales (they are short) and do not forget about your adult comments to them.
Joint business draws people together as efficiently, as rest. “But what about changing oneself?” – You may ask. Now you just become not only a lover, but also a partner, companion-in-arms and friend. However, do not go too far in this joint business, otherwise life after divorce will seem you a quiet paradise.
Now let’s talk about reasons of crisis. Initially, evolutionally, a family is created by human to engender his like. Crisis - is the moment, when some quantity of years has gone, and children did not appear. Unconsciously, we think our partner is sterile, even in case we have been using contraceptives.
A union with sterile person has no prospects, and our instincts make us searching for other one. And before we find a new one, this instinct “divorces” us.
We do not advice you making children urgently, to stop the crisis. If the “crack” between you is small, then it will help, but if the distance is already large between you, or if someone of you just do not like children, then a baby will just quicken the process of breakup.
