Quarrel is easier to be prevented, than settled.
In family life you can do without quarrels!
1. Take interest in partner
Try to get to know him better: his interests, opinion, hobbies. Try to find out not only his positive qualities, but also understand his weaknesses. Those who are interested in only their own problems, would have difficulties to communicate with people and, of course, with their partners. Understanding of another greatly reduces the number of occasions to show aggression.
2. Listen to your other half
An ability to listen carefully ensures good contact with people and is often more valuable, than an ability to speak. And family is no exception in this regard. «Pour» an unending stream of information about everything in the world of neighborhood news and the shortage of fashionable shoes in the cloakroom on a husband returning from work? Do not wait establishment of a favorable psychological climate in the family.
In this situation, a husband can only keep quiet and concentrate on his thoughts, which he hoped to share with you. First, listen to your husband, and then share your problems.
3. Speak about things your partner is interested in
A speaker must feel that a person not only listens, but also monitors the progress of his thought, understands him. It is therefore necessary to ensure that a wife was interested in contents of the conversation.
4. Do not abuse criticism
Criticism is a boomerang, which is always returned. If we start to criticize, there is no doubt: we will be given back with the same. When a wife says her husband he is unshaven and looks bad, she can hear in response: «First, look at your face». Criticism should include also positive elements, it should not offend a partner’s dignity, but rather «push» him to self-criticism. Do not make critical comments in the form of attacks, criticism should not be direct: criticizing a partner, you need to compliment something positive in him.
5. Be careful with orders!
Most people do not like when they someone make orders to them, recalls of their responsibilities, particularly with regard to marital relations, marriage, where partners feel equal. To avoid a spontaneous, natural resistance to orders, they should be taken in the form of question or request for help.
6. Admit your mistakes
If you recognize your mistakes on time and correct them, the dispute or conflict can be avoided. When we voluntarily assume a mistake, that in literal sense is not a mistake, we can successfully master a conflict situation.
7. Praise and slightly idealize more often
Usually we criticize what we do not like. When we like something, we often keep quiet. If a husband likes a dish, cooked by his wife, he eats it in silence. When he does not like food, he starts making a claim. In terms of marital tactic, everything should be the other way around.
In a conversation, it is good to slightly idealize a partner, talk about him, as if he has become the way we would like to see him.
8. Come into other person’s position
Each of us is treating controversial issues at somehow different angles and sees them in his own way.
For example, a husband is late for dinner, and eats without appetite. He is tired, nervous, focused on his thoughts, moves rests of dinner aside. An offended wife goes to another room, tension between spouses is growing. A wife thinks her husband pays little attention to her, but he was not aware that his wife wanted to prepare a pleasant surprise in the form of a tasty dinner in a cozy atmosphere.
If everyone tries to put himself in the place of another, understand the situation and feelings of a partner, will be more tolerant to him and find the correct way out, this will help avoiding conflicts.
9. Do not quarrel!
Destructive quarrel does not solve the problem, but just increases tension and sense of injustice. The principle of «no quarrels» does not imply a complete silence - tactically it means «to be above dispute», engage in conversation, but not to contradict with things a partner says. If we start objecting a partner, repeating «you are wrong», «this is your fault», we as if give him understanding he is stupid or bad, but we are nimble and better: it will be unpleasant for anyone. Thus, we only hamper adoption of our view, even if it is correct.
10. Smile more often!
A fiendly smile is diametrically opposed to the conflict. In a presence of a person smiling genially we lose the desire to talk and quarrel, but rather show an equally positive attitude. Mood is transmitted easily. If you’re smiling to a partner, you can be sure he will respond to you with the same. Affability and kindness of one person causes a similar response from another, relieving tension.
